Page 3 – Gaudin Law Group

Understanding Adoption Trauma: The Primal Wound & A Path to Healing

Tue, 17 Dec 2024 22:00:00 GMT

At Gaudin Law Group , we deeply care about the well-being of everyone touched by adoption—birth parents, adoptive families, and especially adoptees. One topic often discussed is the concept of the “primal wound,” a term coined by author Nancy Verrier.

It refers to the emotional and psychological impact experienced by adoptees as a result of being separated from their birth mothers. While every adoption journey is unique, understanding this concept can help adoptive families navigate the complexities of adoption with compassion and care.

What is the Primal Wound?

The primal wound is rooted in the idea that the bond between a baby and their birth mother begins in the womb. Separation from this bond, even in loving and well-planned adoptions, can create feelings of loss, abandonment, or identity confusion in some adoptees. This wound may manifest in different ways, such as anxiety, difficulty trusting others, or questions about self-worth.

While not all adoptees experience these feelings, acknowledging the potential for such emotions is important. It does not mean something is “wrong” with the adoption, the adoptive family, or the adoptee—it simply highlights the need for empathy and openness.

How Can We Support Healing?

Though the primal wound is real for many adoptees, healing is possible through understanding, communication, and care. Here are some ways to support adoptees as they process their experiences:

Moving Forward with Compassion after Adoption

At its heart, addressing the primal wound is about fostering connection and understanding. As an adoption firm, we are committed to supporting all members of the adoption triad—adoptees, birth families, and adoptive families—on their journey toward healing and growth.

If you have questions or would like more resources, we’re here to help. Together, we can create a future where adoptees feel secure, loved, and empowered to embrace their unique stories.

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How to Find a Good Attorney

Thu, 14 Nov 2024 19:53:00 GMT

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Can Anything Positive Come From a Disrupted Adoptive Placement?

Tue, 16 Jul 2024 09:00:00 GMT

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Name Changes in Louisiana

Thu, 06 Jun 2024 10:00:00 GMT

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How Does a Non Parent Get Legal Custody?

Tue, 21 May 2024 09:00:00 GMT

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Adoption Law in Louisiana

Wed, 12 Jul 2023 18:16:00 GMT

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E. Clark Gaudin – A Principled Man

Thu, 25 Mar 2021 19:24:00 GMT

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The Adoption Process – What Can I Control?

Thu, 18 Mar 2021 15:33:00 GMT

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Conservatorship & Britney Spears

Mon, 15 Mar 2021 16:40:00 GMT

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Ramblings of a Birth Mom: Adoption Advertising

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 23:34:00 GMT

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Adoption Tax Credit: Disrupted Adoption

Tue, 19 Jan 2021 19:40:00 GMT

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Birth Parent Holiday Gift Guide

Fri, 11 Dec 2020 15:48:00 GMT

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Benefits of Hiring A Probate Attorney to Write Your Testament

Mon, 20 Jul 2020 11:52:00 GMT

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Ways that COVID-19 is Affecting Adoptions

Tue, 05 May 2020 13:50:00 GMT

COVID-19 is affecting the whole world right now, from miniscule details of our daily lives to our future plans. And in those details of our daily lives and future plans, it is having a profound impact on adoptions. Everyone involved in an adoption plan is having to change every aspect of that “plan.” Having a baby is scary enough – even more so when you have to do it alone, without your support team you were planning on having, and even more than that when you have made the decision to place your baby for adoption.

My heart hurts for all the adoptive parents who don’t get to be at the hospital to see their birth mom deliver their baby or even see their baby after he or she is born. Right now, they’re having to wait days to meet that baby. And it is stressful and agonizing for them, to be sitting at home waiting for news that the baby they have been praying for and waiting for is finally here – and they don’t get to be there. In some cases, you’re even sitting in your car in the hospital parking lot just so you can be as close as possible, sending all of the prayers and positivity to your birth mama inside, hoping that she can feel your support all the way to the 4th floor.

And after your new addition is here, then the real agonizing begins…your birth mom will be alone in the hospital for 48 hours with YOUR baby. Will she change her mind? Will she keep in touch? What if she leaves with the baby and we never hear from her again? All of these thoughts are running through your mind, on repeat for the next two days. And it’s difficult to cope with and not think the worst of all the things. No one is there to take those precious hospital newborn photos, or take photos of delivery, we aren’t there right away to do skin to skin and bond with him. What if we don’t get to pick him up from the hospital? What if our birth mom can’t sign her Surrender because the Courts are closed? Will our ICPC packet still be processed, can we still leave the State and take our baby home? So many variables and not nearly as many answers right now.

But you, as adoptive parents, need to take a step back and breathe. Adoptive parents are not the ones suffering during this Pandemic; yes it sucks that you don’t get to be at the hospital for the birth or that you don’t get to take pictures holding your minutes old baby you’ve been waiting and praying for. It’s nerve wracking that you don’t get to be in the hospital at all – no bonding rooms or visitation, no meeting the baby until they are discharged from the hospital. But you still get to meet your baby when they are discharged from the hospital and take them home; it might be a couple days later than you hoped for, but what’s 2 more days when you have been waiting for this moment for 9 months, a year, or several years?

The real MVP in this insanity we are living in right now is your birth mom. She is already making an unbelievably difficult, brave and selfless decision and now, she has to do it alone. She is quite literally the strongest woman you will ever meet. If she is lucky, she will deliver at a hospital that is still allowing one support person – but if not, she will be alone. Sure, there will be a doctor and a couple of nurses in the delivery room and a steady stream of nurses in and out of the hospital room checking on her and the baby the next couple of days. But that isn’t the support or love that she needs right now. She needs her mom, her sister, her boyfriend, her best friend, someone that is on her side and there for her. She needs and deserves everyone to be there for her. She wants her family to be there for her, and to meet her baby and be able to see and spend time together before he or she goes to his adoptive parents.

So while it is sad that you as adoptive parents don’t get to be there from the beginning and might have to wait two more days to meet your baby, the real travesty in this pandemic is the lack of support our birth mom’s receive, especially during delivery and in the hospital. Being alone in the hospital with her thoughts, with a baby she plans on placing is exhausting and emotionally and mentally draining. And it is heart breaking that she doesn’t get to have her whole world there to support her, she deserves it more than anyone. Because at the end of the day, you are still going home with a baby while your birth mom goes home with empty arms to try and navigate her trauma and loss.

Adoptions are considered time sensitive and most babies don’t like to enter this world on a schedule, so adoptions are still happening. Surrenders are still being signed and filed with the Court and ICPC packets are still being processed. Your needs as adoptive parents are still being met, but take a moment and ask yourself amid all of this craziness, are your birth moms?

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Ways to Self-Match in Your Adoption

Tue, 05 May 2020 13:39:00 GMT

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Ten Fun Fundraising Ideas to help you Fundraise for your Adoption

Tue, 06 Aug 2019 23:38:00 GMT

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New Adoption Leave Just Like Maternity Leave!

Thu, 25 Apr 2019 15:47:00 GMT

In 2018, the Louisiana Legislature passed ACT 631 , which awards school employees like teachers, social workers, guidance counselors, and psychologists who are prospective adoptive parents, a leave of absence similar to that provided by the Federal Medical Leave Act (“FMLA”) and our Louisiana version. Regularly employed women teachers are granted a leave of absence for a reasonable time before and after birth of a child. Now, thanks to Act 631, regularly employed teachers are also granted a leaves of absence of up to 30 days, after placement of a child as part of an adoption. These school employees who are adopting may not be terminated from their jobs for taking time off after the placement of an adopted child in their home.

The new and old law apply to teachers employed by local school boards, teachers employed by the Special School District, certain teachers at the New Orleans Center for Creative Arts, and teachers of students placed in the custody of the Dept. of Public Safety and Corrections.

If you want to read up on the details, you can find Act 631 at
https://www.legis.la.gov/legis/ViewDocument.aspx?d=1103404

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Adoption Tax Identification Number

Thu, 14 Mar 2019 15:17:00 GMT

If you are in the process of adopting a child and are able to claim the child as your dependent or are able to claim a child care credit, you may need an Adoption Tax Identification Number (“ATIN”) until a SSN is issued for your adoptive child. An ATIN is issued by the IRS as a temporary taxpayer identification number for the child in a domestic adoption when the adopting taxpayers do not have and/or are unable to obtain the child’s Social Security Number (SSN). ¹

According to the IRS, recent tax law changes require that when you list a person’s name on your federal income tax return, you must provide a valid identifying number for that person. During the adoption process, you may not have been able to obtain an existing or a new Social Security Number (SSN) for the child who may already have been placed in your home. If you are eligible to claim the child as your dependent, and you don’t have the child’s SSN, then you will need to request an ATIN in order to claim the child as a dependent and ( if eligible) to claim the child care credit. ²

If you need help obtaining your Adoption Tax Identification Number, give us a call!

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Adoption Stories: Scott and Holly Sanchez

Tue, 15 Jan 2019 15:53:00 GMT

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Are Adoptions Something Good?

Thu, 03 Jan 2019 16:54:00 GMT

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Adoption Tax Credit

Thu, 03 Jan 2019 16:10:00 GMT

Taxpayers who have adopted or tried to adopt a child may qualify for a tax credit. Here are nine important things about the adoption credit:

Sources:
1. https://www.adopthelp.com/adoption-tax-credit-changes/
2. Id.
3. Id.
4. Id.

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Big Changes to How Money is Used in Louisiana Adoptions

Thu, 03 Jan 2019 14:46:00 GMT

In 2018, our legislature amended several Ch. C. Articles that regulate the payment of money to parents when in connection with an adoption. Before the revision, a mother was allowed to receive financial assistance in the following categories:

The category in which many adoption professionals believed was being abused was “living expenses.” By way of context, R.S. 14:286. (Sale of minor children and other prohibited activities; penalties) prohibits the

[sale] or surrender [of] a minor child to another person for money or anything of value, or to receive a minor child for such payment of money or anything of value except as specifically provided in Children’s Code Articles 1200 and 1223….

Children’s Code Articles 1200 and 1223 are exceptions to the criminal statute’s limitations. Over the years, it is believed that some adoption professionals– agencies and attorneys– motivate mothers to “place” creatively using these rules. They create expectations with parents of receiving significant amounts of money, often in monthly payments, but which also included 5-10K lump sums on the day she signed her Act of Surrender. Many adoption professionals believed that those who might be following the letter but not the spirit of the Articles were doing a disservice to the mother and the adoption universe . Those critical of these practices argue the practices are wrong because a.) the funds were not for actual expenses incurred, b.) the overall assistance was too large (when compared with the original policy supporting the allowing such assistance) or, c.) were for items/services that were not appropriate for this specific process.

So, after a lot of debate, the Law Institute’s Committee recommended a revision to Ch. C. Arts. 1131, 1200, 1201, and 1223. Act 562 was enacted and became effective 8/1/18. A copy of the amended Arts. 1131, 1201, and 1223 are inserted here:

Art. 1131. Filing of surrender; institution of records check

A. Within three days after the surrender becomes irrevocable under Article 1123, exclusive of legal holidays, the agency or attorney for the prospective adoptive parents shall file the authentic act of voluntary surrender, together with a preliminary estimate and accounting of fees and charges in accordance with Article 1201 or 1223.1 and any certification for adoption or court order approving the adoptive placement required by Chapter 2 of Title XII in a court of proper venue as authorized by Article 1180.

Art. 1201. Adoption disclosure affidavit of fees and charges; form

A. Each petition for an agency adoption shall be accompanied by an affidavit executed by the petitioner and petitioner’s attorney containing an accounting of all fees and charges paid or agreed to be paid by or on behalf of the petitioner in connection with the adoption. The affidavit shall include the date and amount of each payment made, the name and address of the recipient, and the purpose of each payment. Receipts, or other documentation in the event receipts are not available, for each expense shall be attached to the affidavit.

Art. 1223. Fee disclosure; permissible reimbursement of expenses; court review; report,/p>

A. The petitioner shall file with the petition a current estimate and accounting of fees and charges in accordance with Article 1223.1. The petitioner also shall file a final adoption disclosure affidavit with the court not later than ten days prior to the date scheduled for the final hearing on the adoption.

B. Only the following services provided by the Department of Children and Family Services, or payment made through a licensed adoption agency, or an adoption attorney are permissible and not a violation of R.S. 14:286:

(1) Actual medical expenses, including hospital, testing, nursing, pharmaceutical, travel, or other similar expenses, incurred by the biological mother for prenatal care and those medical expenses incurred by the biological mother and child incident to birth.

(2) Actual medical expenses, including hospital, testing, nursing, pharmaceutical, travel, or other similar expenses, and foster care expenses incurred on behalf of the child prior to the decree of adoption.

(3) Actual expenses incurred for counseling and training services provided to the adoptive parents and for home studies or investigations.

(4) Actual and reasonable court costs, travel costs, and attorney fees incurred by the adoptive parents for their own representation in this adoption.

(5) Actual expenses incurred for counseling services provided to a biological parent or a child for a reasonable time before and after the child’s placement for adoption.

(6) Actual expenses incurred in ascertaining the information required by Articles 1124 and 1125.

(7) Actual and reasonable living expenses needed to maintain an adequate standard of living that the mother is unable to maintain otherwise due to lost wages for a period when she is unable to work.

(a) Living expenses in accordance with this Subparagraph may be paid for a reasonable time before the birth of her child and for no more than forty-five days after the birth and may include the
following:

(i) Temporary housing expenses, such as rent or mortgage payments.

(ii) Utilities, such as electricity, gas, water, or telephone.

(iii) Food for the mother and any minor children residing in her home.

(iv) Transportation costs related to the pregnancy or adoption.

(v) Maternity clothing for the mother.

(vi) Personal hygiene products, cleaning products, and laundry services.

(b) Actual living expenses shall not include vehicles, salary or wages, recreation or leisure activities, permanent housing, gifts, or other payments for the monetary gain of the mother.

(c) The total and cumulative amount of living expenses paid to the biological mother during the term of the pregnancy by one or more agencies or attorneys under the provisions of this Article shall not exceed seven thousand five hundred dollars, except as otherwise specifically authorized in accordance with Subparagraph (9) of this Paragraph.

(8) Actual and reasonable attorney fees, court costs, travel, or other expenses incurred on behalf of a parent who surrenders a child for adoption or otherwise consents to the child's adoption.

(9) Any additional expense authorized by order of the court prior to payment upon a specific finding that the expense is reasonable and necessary.

C. The payment of expenses permitted by Paragraph B of this Article may not be made contingent on the placement of a child for adoption, relinquishment of the child, or consent to the adoption, and the prospective adoptive parent shall have no right to seek reimbursement of any payments solely on the basis of the mother’s decision not to place the child for adoption. However, the prospective adoptive parent may seek reimbursement of payments made pursuant to Paragraph B of this Article from a mother or any other person, agency, or attorney who accepts such payments if the person accepting payment knows that the mother on whose behalf payment is accepted is not pregnant at the time of the receipt of payments or that the mother is accepting payments concurrently from more than one prospective adoptive parent without the knowledge of the prospective adoptive parent who is seeking reimbursement.

**********************

E. If a court determines from an accounting that an amount that is going to be or has been disbursed for expenses listed in Paragraph B of this Article is unreasonable, it may order a reduction in the amount to be disbursed and order the person who received the disbursement to refund that portion.

F. If a court determines from an accounting that an amount is going to be or has been disbursed for expenses not permitted by Paragraph B of this Article, it may:

(1) Issue an injunction prohibiting the disbursement or order the person who received the disbursement to refund it.

(2) Refer the case to the district attorney for the consideration of criminal charges pursuant to R.S. 14:286.

(3) Refuse to approve the adoption, if in the best interest of the child.

G. The court shall not issue a final decree of adoption until it has reviewed and approved the final accounting.

H. A copy of the adoption disclosure affidavit and all orders of the court pursuant
to this Article shall be mailed to the Department of Children and Family Services.

Acts 1991, No. 235, §12, eff. Jan. 1, 1992; Acts 1999, No. 1062, §4, eff. Jan. 1, 2000; Acts 2001, No. 567, §1; Acts 2018, No. 562, §1.

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